Looking Back

Hello, everyone - 

When I started this blog, I had so many ideas swirling in my head regarding the theme/idea that I should follow.  To be honest, I have a touch of ADD (self-diagnosed), so I have lots of good ideas and those ideas change from day to day, often minute to minute.  So, I'm just going to share what's on my mind.  

The beginning of a new year seems to put so many of us back on the track of doing what we feel we should be doing versus what we are doing and/or want to be doing.  So, along with reminding myself to stay away from unnecessary calories and trying to improve my physical health, the beginning of a new year always leads me to reflecting on the past.  

2002 has always been a year that has, in some way, haunted me when I think back to it.  For me, it was a year of many ups and downs, life changing decisions, heartbreaking moments, and at times, pure exhilaration.  When I look back, I realize it was the year that I officially got my big girl pants.  

2002 started out pretty smoothly, until February rolled around.  This is when things really started rolling.  The abridged version of 2002 goes something like this: 

I was laid off from my job.  I said goodbye to someone I thought I loved.  I moved from Ohio to Hawaii.  I went sky diving for the first time.  The person that I thought I loved walked back into my life.  One of my cousins and closest friends gave birth to her son and I was fortunate enough to spend the first three weeks of his life with him.  I moved back to Ohio.  I started a new job.  I was wise enough to say goodbye for good to the person I thought I loved. And to round out the end of a tumultuous year, my Grandma passed away.  

2002 is a year that I always look back on with mixed emotions, but I'm always thankful.  I realize how fortunate I am to have lived through that year and to have these memories to look back on.  All of the events I listed above taught me many valuable lessons. I learned that being in love with someone combines a mutual respect, admiration, and unconditional love.  I learned that I had not yet really been in love, as every time I thought I loved someone, there was a critical piece of the equation missing.  I learned to take chances.  I learned to always make sure the people in my life know that I love them.  And I learned to listen to my heart and always consult my head. 

I think it's important to understand your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and I certainly do.  Before 2002 came along, I believed that there were certain decisions I would never make and things I would never do.  Now I know that given the right circumstances, anyone can choose to take actions that directly oppose one's personal belief system.  I surprised myself in 2002, by showing my weakness, my vulnerability, and most of all, my strength.  

It's hard to believe that it's been ten years since that roller coaster ride.  I don't know what 2012 has in store for me, but I have a feeling it's going to be good and without a doubt, there are certainly some changes and new opportunities on the horizon.

Who Peed on the Floor?

Determining who peed on the floor seems to be a new theme at my house and there are 2 suspects.  My son or my puppy.  Both are potty and house trained, respectively, but seem to be having lots of "accidents lately".   In the last two days, both have been found guilty of peeing on the floor.  Or the Christmas tree.  The tree was easy to figure out - the puppy can hike is leg higher than the 3 year old.  (Yes, my Christmas tree is still up.  If you feel the need to judge me, go ahead, you have my permission.  Maybe this makes you feel better, knowing you have one up on me.  You're welcome.)

If you're sensing that life has been chaotic in my house, well you'd be making a correct assumption.  I used to joke that I wanted my carpet to be ruined so I would feel justified in replacing it.  Our house is only 4 years old and I felt it would be wasteful to replace carpet just because we didn't like it.  Well, now we hate it and have good reason to.  My carpet is not like Beyonce.  It's not a survivor.  It failed miserably against potty and puppy training.  It's bad timing... now I can't justify ripping up the carpets when I'm not working, so I'm living with yucky carpet.  It's made me a bigger germaphobe (did I just create a word?) than I already was.  Yuck.

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day.  If no one pees on the floor, it will be a huge improvement from the last two days.  It could be worse, right?  Absolutely. 

Resolutions, shmezolutions...

Every year around this time, I'm feeling the need to dedicate myself to be healthier, more active, and to stop doing something that is next to impossible.  This year, I've decided to try something new.  I'm not going to set myself up for failure like I do every year.  Who wants to feel like crap come February 1st when you realize that you're not working out 5 days a week, eating more than 1000 calories, and still gossiping with your girlfriends?  I say, to heck with all of that.  I'm setting myself up with some achievable goals as a proactive approach to remaining positive for more than the first 4 weeks of the year.

You're dying to know what my resolutions are, aren't you?  Now that I've got you on the edge of your seat, I'll tell you.

1. Snack Less and replace most snacks with a healthier option

2. Be more positive

3. Work out more often 

Ambitious?  Not really, but all of the above are realistic.  Since the birth of my son, I've found myself in a position of needing to watch my weight, which is honestly something I never really worried about before I was pregnant.  That meant, I spent the first 30 years of my life on easy street, never really worrying about weight control and I realize now that it was a curse.  I'm not large now, but when you spend the majority of your life being "small", there is a certain expectation and a judgement that comes along with carrying an extra 15 pounds around.  It's no longer "baby" weight since he's 3 1/2.  It's just weight.  If I had known how hard it would be to lose weight after being pregnant for the first time at 30, I think I would have had a baby at 15, when my metabolism was high and I had twice the energy I have now.  Plus, the required gym class in high school would have been perfect. 

So, resolutions 1 # 3 center around me trying to become a better me.  Closer to the person I was before I became a mom.  Only the physical part, however.  Being a mommy changes who you are internally forever and I'm very much okay with that.  I just hope to shed a few pounds, tone a few muscles, and someday, rock a pair of leopard pants again.  That's right, I said again. 

Whatever your resolutions are, I wish you luck in keeping yours!