Liberation

Tonight I did something that liberated me from my pre-mommy existence.  I grabbed every pair of thong panties from my panty drawer and took them to the garbage.  Damn, it felt good.  Scratch that, it felt great.  You see, every single day for the past 4 ½ years, those thongs served as a grim reminder of the shape I was in prior to pregnancy.  Before motherhood, I had the time and the firm behind to match my bra with my thong every day.  I wouldn’t have been caught dead in anything less.  Oh, how time and life can change a person.   These days I consider it a victory to simply find the time to put on a bra and panties.

After my son was born in May 2008, I lost 20 of the 40 pounds that I gained during pregnancy almost immediately, with zero effort on my part.  Since I’d never in my life had to worry about my weight, I had no reason to believe that this would be any different.  Here I sit, with my 4 ½ year old “baby” waiting for those remaining 20 pounds to disappear.  I’ve come to the conclusion that they aren’t going anywhere without a little help from me.  I don’t believe in dieting, but I believe in making healthy lifestyle changes that can easily be incorporated into my current routine. 

Getting rid of those thongs allowed me to get rid of the daily reminder that I am no longer 123 pounds and no longer fit into a size 2.  I’m okay with this.  I don’t need to wear a size 2 to feel pretty or to feel healthy, but I don’t need those teeny weenie thongs staring at my every time I open my panty drawer.  I wear big girl panties now.  They aren’t always pretty, but they serve a purpose.  One day at work when wearing a particular pair of pants, one of my male friends (who happens to be gay) said to me “Kelli Lynn, you need to wear a thong with those pants”.  I replied “Yes, I realize that would be best, however, I prefer that you see my panty line versus my butt dimples.”  This is the reality that I live in as the mother to a 4 ½ year old boy.  My priorities have shifted heavily to putting everyone, including my 3 Schnauzers, before myself.  I’m the last one to get new clothes, shoes, and a haircut.  I’m usually the last one to eat dinner and I rarely find myself sitting down to relax at the end of an evening.  I’m the one that takes care of everyone else first and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I’m trying to find the time to make myself a priority because I deserve it.  And my family deserves the best me that I can give them, so I’m giving it a shot. 

Once I rid myself of these last 20 pounds, I’m going to buy myself new thongs.  Who says a 35 year old mother can’t wear thongs?  Not me.  If my butt isn’t jiggling, I’m going to rock those babies just like I did in my 20’s.  I don’t intend to let this aging thing get the best of me.  I’m going to get the best of aging.  This might be too much information for some of you, but I’m okay with that.  I’m a mature adult (for the most part) and I assume that you are too.